Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What, when building a house, are the necessary wires (beside 120v) to future proof my house, Cat6, Coax, low voltage, and alarm wires?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why did I move on so fast from a relationship that was my whole life and I was so attached, I moved on by 2 months?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Just sitting at home with this huge cock. Who can take care of it for me?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What is a good tool for product analytics besides Google Analytics?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

Is it legal to record a conversation with a therapist without their consent or the consent of the other person involved?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are tips for weight loss?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t cotton to rapists

Is it because Trump is impulsive that he is never on time?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Do the British people realize how much American people absolutely despise them?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”